Send Your "Dear John" Letter To Sen. McCain Here!

by Michael Graham December 31, 2006 @ 08:35
Just go to www.mydearjohnletter.com and we'll do the rest!

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My Word Of The Year For 2006 Isn't "Truthiness."

by Michael Graham December 28, 2006 @ 20:57
Although it is a great one, along with "crackberry," "carbon neutral," and "new way forward in Iraq" and "path to citizenship."

But my favorite new phrase of the year (at least, it was new to me) was "Entrant Rights."

What's an entrant? Before this year, they were known as "immigrants." What's an "unauthorized entrant?" Before this year, they were illegal aliens.

And if there are "entrant rights," what are they? Well, according to people who use the phrase, every human being in the world has an inherent and inalienable right to live in America. Whether America wants them or not.

How stupid do you have to be to believe this idiocy? Ask President Bush, Sen. Kennedy and McCain and Gov. Deval Patrick. all of whom oppose defending our borders.

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Hearing The Bells On Christmas Day

by Michael Graham December 25, 2006 @ 08:50
My latest column--on Christmas, terrorism and my mother's deep-seated need for therapy--is here. Merry Christmas!

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By Popular Demand...

by Michael Graham December 24, 2006 @ 22:02
My mom's Trailer Park Christmas Bisquik Sausage Balls recipe!

2 1/4 cups Bisquik (there is no substitute).

1/2 pound Jimmy Dean sausage, either mild or spicy. You know which one I like.

2 1/2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese (yes, there's more cheese than biscuit in these bad boys. That's why they're so good)

3/4 cup milk.

Cayenne pepper is optional. I make two separate batches, and I use about 1/2 teaspoon for mine but none for the kids'. NOTE: Cayenne goes stale after awhile. If you open your rarely-used seasoning and the cayenne is more brown than red, either dump it and get some fresh, or use more of it for the same kick.

Mix it by hand (OK, use your mixer, you wimp) but just until all the ingredients are well blended into a ball of biscuit batter. Then pinch off and roll balls about 1" in diameter. Too big and they'll be gooey inside, too small and they're nothing but cinders.

In a pre-heated oven at 400 degrees for 14 minutes (use aluminium foil, because they will stick). What you're looking for is "crusty." Not fluffy. They should be a little singed, with the cheese caramelizing for the ideal palate-astonishing experience. But not black and charred. Try to keep the balls relatively uniform in size so they'll all cook in the same period of time.

Serve in a basket by the Christmas tree, along with a slice of something sweet (we make strudel every Christmas) and a glass of something with a surprise in it (mimosa or bloody marys work great!) and Mom and Dad are sure to survive yet another Christmas morning onslaught.

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It Is...

by Michael Graham December 22, 2006 @ 17:45


It is...the only gift you will get this Christmas. And it is the only one you will give.


It is why a pair of socks wrapped in green paper sounds so much like a dinosaur when shaken by a small boy.


It is a middle-aged man, teeth gritted and face darkly red, trying to remain nonchalant as a nubile young sales lady holds up two lacy undergarments and asks him to guess which one will fit his wife.


It is what makes him answer: "The small one."


It is the vaccination protecting a child's belief in Santa from the sound of familiar voices in the attic on Christmas Eve.


It is the meaning of the word "Nintendo" in a 7-year-old's bedtime prayer.


It is why the street person's hunger makes him sad instead of angry. And why the five-dollar bill you hurriedly shove into his shaking hand will be spent on a single Big Mac and a 12-pack of Milwaukee's Best.


It is the only reason a married man shaves before coming to bed. It is what makes his wife believe he's just trying to improve his personal hygiene.


It is the sudden, listening stillness of a woman's kitchen at Christmastime when she hears the screen door latch, even though he hasn't come home in years.

It's what turns the dollar-store, slave-labor, nylon-haired knock-off into a Ballerina Barbie when touched by her 6-year-old fingers. It's what makes her father blink back a tear and silently promise to give her a real Christmas next year.


It is why he can't remember making the same promise when she was five.

It is why we can't imagine Christmas dinner without Gramma, and why Gramma sometimes looks up with a start when she hears her name. It's why she thought, just for a moment, that it was her mother calling.

It is why she isn't sure that it wasn't.

It is the sole motivator for your sister to ever touch an oven. Ever. Especially after what happened last year.

It is the reason you really, honestly thought you were going to eat that piece of fruitcake when you cut it.


And when she has put your children to bed, stuffed the last bit of wrapping paper into a closet, taken the potpourri off the stove, turned out all the lights in your house and finally falls onto the sofa next to you — as you sit quietly with her before the glistening tree — it is the only thing that can convince you that she might love you half as much as you love her.

It is why she does.

It is the reason women weep. It is the reason men fail. It is why every child, at least once in his life, has wanted to cry at Christmas.

It is as precious as a baby, wrapped in swaddling clothes, and lying in a manger. It is as painful as a flesh-torn hand and a thorn-crowned head. It is the reason for both.

And if every Santa song and earnest prayer, every sincere gift and imagined wrong, every Christmas dinner and New Year's toast, every unanswered invitation and unwelcome guest, every office party kiss and happy child's hug — if every human moment of the entire holiday season could be stripped of its tinsel and pretense and price tag and reduced to its truest essence, we would find it there, the only gift ever given at Christmas, the same gift, passed from hand to hand.

It is...hope.

It is Christmas.

Merry Christmas from Michael Graham and 96.9 FM TALK.
UPDATE: Thanks to the Boston Herald for sharing this with their readers on Christmas Eve.

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Merry Christmas To All!

by Michael Graham December 22, 2006 @ 14:40

From My lovely bride, The Warden, and the rest of the detainees on the Graham Family Compound: Mencken, Alexandra, Galen Luke and Katherine Grace (pictured).


Thanks to everyone for making this year--our first family Christmas in Massachusetts--unforgettable.

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Prince Patrick, Changing The Political Culture of Massachusetts...

by Michael Graham December 21, 2006 @ 08:58
...one drunk, well-connected supporter at a time.

Now, the Duke of Deval (whose five-day, multi-million dollar coronation begins in two weeks) isn't responsible for the fact that one of his insider pals used her influence to get off the hook for an OUI. He's also not responsible for the fact that, according to police reports, she's an arrogant jerk.

Nor is he responsible for the leaders of the legislature already announcing that "B-A-U" begins the day he's sworn in.

But Massachusetts voters are absolutely responsible for believing that this life-long political hack would be anything other than, well, a political hack.

Prince Patrick's campaign for governor was a remarkable example of one of the great Natural Truths:

"The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made."

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From The Trans Fat Mailbag...

by Michael Graham December 20, 2006 @ 23:38
Michael,

If the FDA has decided to ban trans-fats our state has an obligation to fall in line.

WHAT, they didn’t? Well it must have been the CDC or some other empowered national health office.

WHAT, it’s not? Well was it the Massachusetts State Board of Health?

NO? A collection of local city & town Boards of Health.

No? Just some guy who lives in Waltham? Well I’ll be darned!

Sincerely,

RJ Woodward

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Can We Still Win In Iraq?

by Michael Graham December 20, 2006 @ 15:23
Boston University's Bob Zelnick says "yes."

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Our Dope O' The Day

by Michael Graham December 19, 2006 @ 18:03

Today's DO'D has got to be Massachusetts Democrat Peter Koutoujian, sponsor of a bill to ban trans fats in all Massachusetts restaurants.

Particularly annoying is Koutoujian's reasoning:

“Much of the [restaurant] industry has moved in this direction already, and others will have to move in this direction, so I believe the resistance will be much less than it would have been a year ago.”

In other words, this isn't a matter of principle--there are plenty of things we're eating and drinking today that do far more harm than trans fats. Rather, it's a matter of what the government can get away with. Yesterday, they overcame the "resistance" to the government banning smoking on private property. Today, they "resistance" to taking away your trans fat is low.

Tomorrow? If I were you, I'd eat that pork chop quick before Rep. Koutoujian sees it.

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